U is for Useless

My list of Useless things: Part I

These are just a few of the things that I find useless. In fact, some of them are worse than useless. They are not only a waste of society's resources, they actually cause real harm to human beings and other living things.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions. Others may find value in some of these things. They would be wrong.

1. Tanning Salons

These are especially detrimental to those obsessed with the fear of being pale. There is even a term coined for this condition: Tanorexia.

To illustrate-

exhibit a - an old potato














exhibit b - the skin of a tanorexic 25 year old













2. Decaffeinated coffee

Really - what's the point?



3. TV Shopping Networks

I get upset with normal commercials and drive people nuts clicking the remote to find a station not advertising something. Why would I want to watch a whole network of commercials? It's not like I can choose which things they are going to show me. If I really want to buy something, I can compare at hundreds of stores, thousands of web sites. Haven't these people heard of e-bay?


4. Tabloid Newspapers (celebrity variety)
Lies, gossip and showbiz PR. If you want some real entertainment, try the Weekly World News. Now that's a tabloid!








5. War


Dishonorable Mention:

SUVs

Light Beer

TV tabloids (E.T., etc.)
At least the E! channel shows SNL reruns.

For another opinion click here.

I expect to discover more useless things by the time the letter U rolls around again. In the meantime, let me know what things you find useless.

War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
War! It's an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind

T is for Turtle

I don't remember a time before our kids liked to draw. It seems like our girls, especially, were always drawing their favorite TV characters. They made exacting images of all of the Color Kids on Rainbow Brite. But soon, they had graduated to pictures of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those intrepid reptilian crime fighters named after Renaissance painters. I think they have been drawing turtles ever since.


In middle school, Karen's pictures of her speedy sneakered friend "Flash Turtlewax" was so popular he had his own picture among the other graduating eighth graders.

One of her art assignments in college was to add an animal to part of the design of a dollar bill.




















Turtle Money


In her animation class, Karen created this swimming sea turtle.

I guess I'm just like a turtle
That's hidin' underneath its horny shell.
Whoa, whoa, oh yeah, like a turtle
Hidin' underneath its horny shell.
But you know I'm very well protected -
I know this goddamn life too well.

Turtle Blues
Janis Joplin

S is for Saturn

With the letter S we move further out in the solar system to majestic Saturn.

The ringed planet will be in opposition to the earth on Friday, January 27. This means that Saturn, the Earth and the Sun are lined up with Earth in the middle. This is usually when Earth is closest to Saturn, and because it is opposite the Sun, Saturn will be rising in the East when the Sun is setting in the West. This all makes for a terrific time to view this wonderful planet.

If you don't want to stand out in the cold with your binoculars, you can visit the NASA-JPL Cassini-Huygens web site. The Cassini spacecraft has been orbiting Saturn for over a year, sending back spectacular photos of its’ massive storm systems, its’ glorious rings, and dozens of moons.

The Huygens lander descended to the surface of the planet-sized moon Titan in January 2005, relaying back pictures of a mysterious landscape that may include methane rivers and rainfall.
Titan Landscape

Musical Interlude

From Another Planet

Terri Hendrix
Lloyd Maines

Janet from another planet
Says Johnny can
Make a big comeback from Johnny land
When the rabbit ears work on the TV set
They settle for the only channel they can get

Click here for soundbite

R is for Rovers

Two years ago today, the Mars Rover Opportunity landed on the red planet. It's sister Rover, Spirit, had landed three weeks earlier, January 3, 2004.

These semi-autonomous exploring robots had been launched in July of 2003, and it was hoped that they would explore and send back data for at least 90 days. Now, two years and tens of thousands of photos later, these intrepid machines are still roving the surface of Mars, climbing hills and descending into craters.

The NASA-JPL Mars Rover web site allows geeks like me to look at the latest raw pictures that each rover has sent, and to read their day-to-day progress in science and exploration. To you they may be just pictures of sand and rocks, but to me they are a glimpse of a new world, an unexplored frontier waiting to be discovered.

I hope you will look at a few of these images and enjoy some of the delight and wonder that I receive when I am able to get close and personal with a distant planet.

Q is for Quah

Quah is an acoustic album of blues and gospel tinged tunes recorded by Jorma Kaukonen, with Tom Hobson. This was after Jorma's days as lead guitarist for Jefferson Airplane, and during the early years of Hot Tuna. His first love has always been American roots music, which he stamps with his own unique style of guitar.

As for the cover art pictured above, I will leave its' interpretation up to you. The original is either on display at a coffee shop in Athens, Ohio called Donkey's, or it is hanging at Jorma's FurPeace ranch and guitar camp.

We have tickets to see Jorma play an acoustic concert at the Grand Opera House, in Wilmington, next month. Stay tuned for the review.

P is for Pets

Here is a gallery of our pet population.

Haruka, the bored

Xena, the bird watcher.

From left to right: Blue, Rizo, and Lily



















Haruka and Rizo - a watchful tolerance

O is for Other

We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Frank Zappa's "Other People" from We're Only in it for the Money

I think a lot of the conflict in the world is due to our perceptions of people as "Other". Other nations, other religions, other races, other colors; we fear and suspect the unknown, the unfamiliar, the other. It is a tribal thing; unfamiliar refers to that outside of our family.

It seems natural to root for the people and things that we are most comfortable with; our side, our team, our country, people like us. And it is just as effortless to generalize, or even demonize the people who are different from us. Bigotry, discrimination, and distrust - these come to us easily. It is much harder to look for the similarities in other people; to seek understanding and acceptance.

But, as Frank Zappa reminds us, we are the other people too.

N is for Nuts

Walnuts, Pecans, Cashews, Peanuts, Macadamias, Hazelnuts, Filberts, Brazil nuts, Almonds, PISTACHIOS!

yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

M is for MacColl

Today's letter M is dedicated to the late, great Kirsty MacColl. I fell in love with the song "In These Shoes?" from her last album. Sadly, Kirsty died in a December 2000 boating accident. I am still trying to learn more about her and her glorious music.


Kirsty was the child of a Scottish folk singer, sort of a Celtic Pete Seeger. You can hear the Scottish rhythm's in her music, along with some leftist sentiments, but even more you hear a joyful lust for life, a wry sense of humor, a voice that can be haunting and wistful, sad or sultry. She loved Latin inspired music (try the exuberant Tropical Brainstorm) as well as traditional rock and pop. The wonderful Electric Landlady moves deftly from rap, to Latin, to ballad, to punk, to environmental protest songs.


But words cannot describe her music. She was an artist, like Joni Mitchell or Janis Joplin, that can't be compared to someone else.








Take a listen and see.

Kirsty's favorite albums as listed in 1994 were
1. THE BEACH BOYS ... Pet Sounds
2. IGGY POP ...Lust For Life
3. THE SMITHS ... Strangeways, Here We Come
4. XTC ... Black Sea
5. STEELY DAN ... Pretzel Logic
6. THE COCTEAU TWINS ... Heaven Or Las Vegas
7. KID CREOLE & THE COCONUTS ... Tropical Gangsters
8. BOB MARLEY ... Live
9. DAVID BOWIE ... Station To Station
10.FRANK BLACK ... Teenager Of The Year

L is for LASER TURTLE

This is one of my favorite pictures by Matt. I find that people either love it or scratch their head.

What do you think?

Other Matt pictures:
DinoTrig
NNNNNNG
Planet
Waffles

Previous L - Lily

K is for The Kinks

The second best British Invasion band of the sixties, (in my opinion), The Kinks combined a uniquely British world view, sophisticated satire, creative song writing, and sometimes sloppy, sometimes searing musicianship. Lead by the sardonic wit of leader Ray Davies and the guttural guitar playing of brother Dave Davies, The Kinks inspired more than one generation of rockers. They influenced groups on both sides of the Atlantic in the sixties, inspired both heavy metal bands and punk rock, and were a major source of inspiration to later day Brit Pop bands like Oasis, Blur and Pulp.

But I think The Kinks were at their best when making music about the poor working slobs, and the modern day struggle for individuality and dignity in a world dominated by phonies, bureaucrats, and corporations. I have heard it said that Ray Davies wrote about the universal condition of man as observed from the windows of his London flat.

Ray and Dave Davies

So here's to those well respected men, those dedicated followers of fashion, The Kinks.


Previous K - Kristin & Karen

J is for Joe(s)

It is a wonderful world filled with wonderful Joes.

Can you name all of the Joes in this picture? (Answers below)

Previous "J" - Just for Joe

I is for Innumeracy

Innumeracy is to mathematics as illiteracy is to language.

It is also a nifty little book that I received this Christmas (Thanks Matt!).

It is a wonderful read that employs humor and storytelling to warn us that even the so-called educated among us can fall victim to "confused personal decisions, muddled governmental policies, even an increased susceptibility to pseudoscience".

One of the points that I felt was relevant is the misunderstanding of probability, especially when used to claim that something that has a low probability can be discounted.

For example: The probability of me winning the lottery today is extremely low. But the probability that one of the millions of lottery players will win, (or that I would win if I play a million tickets), is extremely high and virtually inevitable.

One of the ideas behind Intelligent Design is that life is too complex to have evolved on its own - that evolution is therefore improbable. But like the lottery, given the hundreds of billions of stars in our galaxy alone, and billions of years to work with, the evolution of intelligent life somewhere is not only highly probable. That it happened on Earth is no less likely than it happening on millions of other worlds.

But enough preaching. It is enough to say that we must question the math that is thrown at us, just as we would question the words thrown about by politicians and journalists. We must all strive to overcome innumeracy!

Previous "I" - Illusion

H is for Happy Birthday!

And a Happy New Year, everyone.

I can't remember if it is the 21st anniversary of Marsha's 29th birthday, or the 29th anniversary of her 21st birthday. Either way, we all wish her the best.

"Everything gets better with age.
Except bananas."

(Betty White)


Have a happy 2006!

previous "H" - Haruka